News about Sy*msul Yusof filing for nusyuz against his wife P*teri Sar*h crossed my IG timeline today. He also alleges that Sar*h cheated on him with her ex-bf who is also married. Adoiii… Small Dick Energy betei ko ni AsSol.(Ramainyaaaaa lah assholes dalam dunia ni, kan? *hantuk kepala dia kat dinding*)
How “classy” tetiba alleging macam² and casting terrible aspersions on the mother of your children. Dahlah ko takmo lepaskan dia, out of pure spite. Ko kan dah ada bini baru… and now just because you want to spite her, you refuse to divorce her. Pastu kasi excuse cheebs: “Saya masih sayangkan dia lagi” 🙄🙄🙄 Puuuuiiiii….
Kalo ko “sayangkan” dia lagi, ko takkan lukakan hati dia by even fraternising with that twerking kongaja bint, you even MARRIED the belen which drives the stake into a wife’s heart even deeper. Yes, polygamy is allowed in Islam and even though I am not a wife who will accept it, I am never one to say that it is wrong, because Allah SWT allows it. However, surely ada cara yang lebih baik to go about it. AND… if your first wife cannot accept it, the best thing is to let her go in goodness, not deal in spite and acrimony like this.
Now that he alleges she had an affair and macam², in Islam he is required to produce 4 witnesses that have to fulfil certain criteria. If he still accuses her and cannot produce incontrovertible proof attested by these 4 witnesses, the punishment of wrongly accusing a chaste woman is 80 lashes. Times like these I wish this country practised hudud laws. Bior padan kena 80 of the best from an ekor pari whip. Tak duduk seumur hidup lah ko..
Went to B*rkat Madinah today to do some pre-Ramadhan 1444H shopping. Bought 5kgs of Ajwa Aliya (they are even better quality than the so-called “VVIP” ones katanya, sebbaek acik tak salah beli! 😅 ) , 2 kgs of Maryami, 2kgs of Deglet Nour (Wes likes them so much *shrug*) and 3 kgs of Medjool. I intend to send some to the Ketupat Krew, the rest should tide the fam over until the end of Ramadhan, inshaaAllah.
Bought everyone shawarma sammiches from the kiosk outside of the supermarket. Ate mine whilst it was still hot on the drive back. (I wasn’t driving, Idham the driver was). It was massive, filled me completely. (The shawarma sandwich lah!) 😅
We were invited to lunch at Dad’s and Auntie V’s today. Pre-Ramadhan 1444H gathering, katanya. The steaks were Angus rib-eyes and we had a wagyu tomahawk as well. Steaks were not grilled as well as we are used to by the Maestro Griller aka Wes Alasdair Coen, so some of us ended up going back to the grill to cook the meat some more.
All in all, sedaplah. Auntie V served garlic bread, salad (I wish she would not drown her salads in that Japanese roasted sesame dressing she favours so much!) and chicken and mushroom soup as well. I would have like the soup not to be as “textured” as it was (perhaps that’s the way they like theirs 🤷🏻♀️ *shrug*) but it was still sedap, Alhamdulillah.
Wes and Joe left early because Joe was restless yet sleepy. Wes always looks for excuses to leave family gatherings at Dad’s early anyhoos… I have never complained nor make a big fuss about it and I am not about to start now. Biarlah, whatever he is comfortable with. At least Wes comes and attends fambam gatherings, unlike my cousin Ally’s husband, Adolph.. that bangang Americaine. Bleddy rude, never bothers to even pretend to be part of this family.
I also told Dad about AH Coen and about the lies and fitan he is spreading about me and Wes. I told Dad to never give that cvnt the time of day anymore. AH has been known to toady up to my Dad… now I am seeing the reason why. Cvnt. He had mentioned to Wes that he was going to call my Dad to inform him of how Wes has been “living off me”. My Dad was Malaysia’s ‘M’ for bleddy yonks kot… takkan dia tak tau? Funtartz bodo punya AH. Tak perlu jadi ‘M’ pun to know wot’s wot. Where else would Wes get money to live on? Jatuh daripada langit ke, AH cheebuy?
This will be my du’aa in my tahajjud, Ramadhan and on the Night of Power if Allah SWT allows me to see it this year…
Ya Allah, Ya Mujib, Ya Rabb,
Aku memohon kepada Engkau Ya Allah, barang apa yang didoakan dan dimahukan oleh (insert nama sebenar AH Coen) anak kepada (insert nama parents AH Coen) untuk aku (insert nama aku) dan suamiku (insert nama sebenar Wes Alasdair Coen), Engkau balaskan dan kurniakan yang sama berlipat ganda kepada AH Coen dan isterinya.
Jika apa yang didoakan dan dimahukan mereka berdua suami isteri adalah yang baik² buat aku dan suamiku maka kurniakanlah kebaikan yang berlipat² ganda buat mereka berdua. Jika apa yang mereka mahukan dan doakan buat kami suami isteri adalah yang sebaliknya, kurniakanlah yang sama berlipat² ganda kepada mereka. AAMEEN!
Lumree Yang Difitnah dan Teraniaya
Sebab kita tak boleh doa yang buruk² untuk orang kaaaaan… so trimalaaaah doa tulus dariku buat ghaso² … 😏
I am supposed to write to my sisters-in-law to clarify several things that this asshole AH Coen has spread fitnah and lies about me and Wes.
Truly AH has a face of a greying and aging flappy labia and he has the mouth to suit a frustrated spinster tak dapat usvi tanasul 🍆tujuh abad. He’s a man but my Godddddd the amount of backbiting that cvnt does is just mind-blowing. I wake up for tahajjud every day now, NOT to make bad du’aas for him… but I ask Allah to grant Andreas Horatio Coen (AH) son of Langley and Zöe Coen, what he TRULY deserves for all the fitan that he has spread about me and Wes, in his bid to break us apart.
I have had zulm done on me and du’aa of someone yang teraniaya has no hijab with Allah SWT… so I ask Allah SWT to grant AH WHAT HE TRULY DESERVES in this dunya and especially the Akhira for all the lies, backbiting and slander he has spread about me and Wes to all in the family. AH cannot stand the fact that Wes is married to me because he thinks Wes enjoys a good life because of me and my trust fund. Whilst yes, I “carry” this family but Wes is not a complete freeloader. He is not lazy, he is hard-working.. he has tried many ventures that have unfortunately failed. I guess one of his shortcomings is his lack of staying power. He tends to give up rather easily. However, it is not in AH’s place to cast aspersions on Wes and spread lies about things I am supposed to have said.
That kaymark is making me look very bad in the eyes of Wes‘ sisters. No wonder Sharon, my favourite SIL, seemed rather cold to me via vid call before I went to Nick’s wedding. From all the bullshit they heard from AH (I only found out now), they must have been very surprised to see me go all the way to attend the wedding because apparently everyone was thinking Wes‘ and my marriage was on the brink of collapse… yet again.
From what I read in AH‘s vitriolic e-mails to Wes, I can see that my jethani-jee, Sheila (whom I have had nothing but respect and love for) has been quite the SNAKE 🐍. I can see some of the things AH said, was based on things I did discuss with Sheila (my HUGE mistake) but was twisted and added on with lies upon untruths just to make me look very bad and to demean and humiliate Wes even further. AH says he has proof of me saying all those things about Wes and he will be going back during Eid and showing every body the “piece of paper” on which I was supposed to have said all these things.
Paper apa pantat? Segala benda kalau aku ada pun TERsebut kat bini engkau, semua via call, bukan text. So apakejubonya kau kata kau ada “proof” bagai. Bak marilah tunjuk kat aku babi! 🐽 😡
I called Sheila the Snake and spoke to her with the speaker on in front of Wes the other day. She of course denied everything, tapi memang ya pun… mana ada proof messages aku kepada dia on Whatsapp ke email ke, because most of our interactions have been via call. HOWEVER, aku sedar dia memang ADA cerita kat laki dia pasal apa yang aku sebut… jadi kesimpulannya… betina ni MERBAHAYA Kelas 1+.
That will be the absolute last time I will speak to her. Rather unfortunate… because I had such respect for her, even love. Allahyarhamha my mother was very fond of her too. Then again, there were red flags 🚩🚩🚩. I trusted her because I thought she was a person of religion, studied the Qur’an under Dr. F*rh*t H*shmi with tadabbur and all. BUT, she also suddenly took off her hijab after she started wearing it post-Hajj. She also wore very revealing clothes to her brother’s wedding recently which rather shocked me… seeing that this is a woman who studies the Qur’an and therefore should know what the covering of aurat entails. That snake-like duality alone should have told me this bint does things only for show.
Yang laki dayuth dia tu pun, boleh pula benarkan dia pakai baju macam tu… go out in the open in front of even non-mahram men, showing off her chest and arms and uncovered hair. Tapi AH tu memang macam daghai tua pun. Babi segala babi 🐷🐽🐖🐗 and I feel I am insulting babi-s when I lump him together with them. Takat dayuth tak cium bau syurga tu apalah sangat, dak?
Today Wes showed me the messages that AH emailed him, spitting vitriol and anger. I also found this kaymark AH has been telling my sisters-in-law that Wes and I are on the verge of divorce, that I had kicked him out of the house that is why he is now working overseas.
Apakepundek? (Ini acik dah marah ni nyaaaah…)
He also told his sisters (my SILs) that I have been complaining to his wife Sheila that Wes beats me and the children, that he lives off of me (whilst true, what is it to him… aku ambik duit kau ke nak kipas anggun adik kau?) and that I frequently throw my husband out of the house (fitnah mengalahkan frustrated biatch tak dapat batang 5 abad!) and he comes licking my feet each time when I give him money (very untrue, Wes… whatever he may be, is a very proud and dignified man).
He also told his sisters that I left my house for a MONTH to go back to my father’s house? WTF… ko hengat aku hingiiiiin nak pergi duduk rumah apak aku? Puhleez nok… baik acik hole-up at the Mandarin Oriental, senang turun pepagi pusing park. This bloody kaymark bastard bitch AH just creates stories out of thin air in his bid to destroy Wes’ and my marriage. Wes and I can manage that on our own well enough, ta very mooch… tak payahlah kau nak jadi nasi tambah.
Part of his fantastical tale is that Wes is looking to remarry someone else that is why he had his part of the ancestral haveli done up nicely, recently. Apakefuntartz lah jantan tua rumah kata pergi, kubur kata lai lai ni merepek. Besides the many things he said he is the one who built that house… padahal Wes was the one who sent money for its construction. I sent money for its construction too… Wot a fookaymark this ARSEHOLE is. Ada hati kata nak bakar our part of the house and throw us out. Macam pondan takde telor AH ni!
My in-laws must have been very surprised (and confused!) when I turned up for Nick’s wedding last December because according to AH’s stories, Wes and I were separated and about to divorce. Aku tak tahu menahu pun about all this bullshit that was going on behind the scenes, blithely just attending the wedding. I guess it didn’t help that Wes was being an ARSE at the rukhsati and I started crying, that must have cemented their belief that something was terribly wrong with Wes’ and my relationship.
Aku ni vengeful biatch nyah. I told Wes, even IF we hate each other (which we don’t… although ada juga masa²nya aku rasa nak hempuk dia dengan cangkul and bury him in the yard 😅), let’s make a promise to make fookeymark AH ni squirm in frustration seeing our happiness together. Pergi MAMPOSLAH kau botak tua muka dan hati hitam macam bontot kuali. #MaHaiChowChibai
Today I went to see Ginnie, my shrink. It has been a while since I last saw her, I almost forgot where her office was. I was already doing pretty OK at my last appointment with her but… with all the shite that happened in December 2022, I felt I needed to see her.
I have to say (and she agrees) the Lumree who first met her in 2021 is not the same Lumree now in 2023. That Lumree was very upset her husband was going to leave her and live separately from her overseas. The Lumree today actually prefers her husband to work overseas. (The children and the house help at least do not have to tread on eggshells and live in constant fear of triggering a violent/abusive tirade.)
The Lumree from 2 years ago didn’t want to be left alone, even though being together meant taking all his verbal abuse, his gaslighting and manipulation and having to pander to all the demands and whims of a supreme dyed-in-the-wool narcissist. The Lumree today just wants peace. If he mentions again about leaving whenever things don’t go his way, I told Ginnie today that I will tell him to walk the talk. I will tell him, don’t hang that sword of Damocles over my head each time he doesn’t get what he wants from me (usually money or favours for his Harambe friends *rolls eyes*)… I will make it easy for him. Let’s both walk in to that qadhi’s office at the Syari’ah court and he can lafaz what he needs to just to make what he has been mentioning repeatedly (ad nauseam!) actually happen 🤷🏻♀️
I told Ginnie just now, the way I see it… he is not happy with me. Why else would he keeeeep mentioning leaving me and ending things each time things don’t go his way? Is it merely a narcissist’s tool of manipulation ? Aku letih, tau tak? As I said, I just want peace. He says that too, as if I disturb his peace. Maybe lah, that’s how he views me, his wife.. as someone who disturbs his peace 😔
Apa² lah laboo… when you blocked me on Whatsapp and I emailed you to say, if you don’t want me anymore… then let’s part in goodness, as Commanded by Allah SWT in the Holy Qur’an. Immediately you unblocked me and started carrying on as if you never blocked me and nothing ever happened pulaaaaak. Apakepoonders, I ask you ⁉️
Just like when you told me to COMMIT SUICIDE. When I mentioned it to you the next day, you said “When did I say that to you?” Apakejoobs lah yaaa❗️ 😡 I told Ginnie, what a thing to say to someone you KNOW suffers from bipolar disorder (BPD), someone with a mental health challenge. Wot a bleddy insensitive thing to do, purposely calculated to HURT me the MOST. Bleddy small dick energy (SDE), padahal kau kena bayar pole tax, kot 🤐
In other news, there are developments to the “war” brewing between Wes and his brother AH (stands for asshole actually but let’s give him a name… Andreas Horatio Coen, AH Coen 😆) I have to say assholery seems to run in the family, in different degrees… of course. I am glad to report that my Wes Alasdair is not the champion in the assholery stakes, his elder brother Andreas Horatio (the ultimate AH!) wins it hands down.
Wes called me today to warn me to NOT accept any calls from AH nor be in contact with his wife, Sheila, anymore. Such a pity because I really like Sheila and we get along very well. Apparently AH is hellbent on breaking Wes’ and my marriage up. AH is even planning to call my Dad to tell him that Wes has been living off my money all this while. Errmm.. sudah terang lagi bersuluh lampu stadium Barnabéu kot, that ain’t news to my Dad. Wot does AH expect Dad will do? Even if Dad gets angry over this piece of so-called “news”… am I bleddy 15 that my Dad can TELL me to break up with my “boyfriend”?
Whatever it is, like it or not, Wes is my husband. Where this marriage is going is nobody’s domain except for Wes’ and mine. Period. Aku ingat aku yang gila (aku kan jenis gila yang kena makan ubat, nyaah 😅), rupanya abang ipar aku AH ni lagi GILER 🙄
I totally regret attending Nick‘s wedding to Tabz last December because I had to go through such heartache and humiliation that Wes inflicted upon me. I have always known he has a mean streak… and he let loose with that streak during the 2 weeks I was there for Nick‘s wedding.
If you don’t want me to make silly sarcastic comments about that woman who messaged you and said you must be “naraaz” with her just because you didn’t reply two (2!) of her messages… then you should have handled it better when I asked you why she feels she deserves a reply from you. You even BLOCKED me, your wife, from your Whatsapp once… and this woman can nicely ask you if you are upset with her just because you didn’t reply TWO of her messages. Ohkaaay.
Instead of jumping down my throat and GASLIGHTING me, perhaps if you had been lovingly reassuring and understood my uncomfortability with the whole situation, I wouldn’t feel the way I do now whenever I see her near you or around you (she flew in there for her new granddaughter’s aqiqah). My discomfort that this woman triggers is made worse by the knowledge that you used to think she was NOT quite “kosher”, leaving her husband and children behind and going to work in DBX on her own. You even cast aspersions on her moral character, then.
Sana Coen, (not her pic obviously, but she IS a needy, tired old cvnt) who saw fit to LEAVE her husband and small children to kononnya build a life and a career of her own in DBX
Suddenly now, when I went to Isloo for the wedding recently and found out she was chummy with you to the point she actually EXPECTS you to reply her WhatsApp messages, things had turned 180. You suddenly were so sympathetic to her situation and saying terrible things about her husband. Ehhh wot?! So all those things you say about how terrible the husband is must be from what SHE told you, right?
Apakepoonders perlu you, a MARRIED MAN, have such intimate and private conversations with a woman about her husband? If I had those kinds of conversations with a man about his wife, would you like it? Tapi kau memang selalu macam tulah kan, double standards all the time. What’s good for the goose is not good for the gander. Kau boleh buat tapi orang lain tak boleh.
Then, when I later told you to keep contact with her to a minimum, you just ignored me. I told you that those who suffer from a lack of love and affection will latch on to anyone who shows kindness to them. I told you that whilst you may not feel anything by talking to her or helping her there, she might take whatever kindness and attention you show her and run with it. Still you did not respond nor acknowledge what I said.
SO… WHAT DO YOU FRAKKIN’ EXPECT ME TO FEEL? That you don’t agree with all that I said and that pergi MAMPOSlah kau Lumree, ada aku keysah apa kau rasa… Imma just keep on doing whatever it is that I want to do…. my wife’s feelings be damned.
Aah.. and don’t forget, two days before that, on 10th December 2022, you already told me to “go COMMIT SUICIDE, TOMORROW you better go COMMIT SUICIDE!” Just because I cried at the wedding due to your hurtful treatment of me. You just want to show the world what a “wonderful” person you are, but in reality….people don’t know the mean and harsh verbal abuse I have to take constantly.
You always do your best in saying the things that would hurt me the most. Ustadh Shafiq also told me this, when people (you!) are angry they will choose to say things that will hurt the other party the most. You have a PhD in this.
You know my brother took his own life, and there you were, telling me to take my own. If I didn’t have the relationship that I have with Allah SWT now, I would have probably done it. You don’t know how MUCH you hurt me that day, Wes Alasdair Coen. I had to bite on my knuckles to stop all of you from hearing my wails of anguish from inside the bathroom where I bawled my heart out….
How you broke my heart 💔… and my spirit that day. 😔
How can I ever believe you again when you say you “love me”? Never again… all that has been said and done, especially during the whole wedding trip last December… has eroded what little that is left of my love and affection for you. You killed everything, bit by bit over the years. With every insult, every punch and slap that left black eyes and bruises in the distant past. I am thankful you haven’t laid a finger on me to physically harm me since our remarriage but… in terms of your behaviour, your narcissism… nothing has changed . The saying a leopard can’t change its spots is so TRUE. I am only pretending now… pretending everything is OK. I am only here because of Joe and you know it.
I beg and pray to Allah to remove ALL power and ability from you to hurt me, the children and the staff in this house, without causing detriment and harm to yourself. (Kalau kau tiba² terlantar stroke, aku jugak yang susah karang! 🙄 And to tell you the truth, after all the abuse I have had to bear over the years, there isn’t much ikhlas for me to take care of you as an invalid.🤷🏻♀️)
Pergilah mintak betina garit tua tu tampung segala perbelanjaan kau. Suruhlah dia jaga kau macam aku jaga kau dah masuk 32 tahun ni, jadi bank dan ATM kau. Tengoklah dia tahan ke tidak with your tyranny, your way or the highway. Dah ada CUCU pun masih nak menggelenyar dan menggedik. Cvnt. 😡
Dan kau, kau tahan ke betina yang flirt dengan segala jantan yang ada? Pergilah. Kau nak jaga perasaan dia daripada perasaan AKU, bini kau yang dah berkorban macam² untuk kau.
In my bid to gradually decrease my involvement in the KK, I also feel I want to slowly lessen my mindless scrolling through social media.
I have stopped tweeting altogether now, that was a bit of a cold turkey quit. Which was great, kinda proud of myself.
I no longer scroll those inane TikTok videos like I used to… but I do find myself mindlessly scrolling through the IG stories of those I follow. It never ends!
SO… before Wes comes home on Thursday, I hope to have stopped this bad habit. There are SOOOO many other fruitful things for me to do rather than scroll through the inane / weird / and/or wonderful lives of others *shrug*
Had Sunday lunch with Dad, Zane* and Gia* as usual today. Auntie V* is still away at umrah and will only be back on Thursday, 9th March 2023. Wes* will be back on the same day as well but in the afternoon.
Ugggh… I am filled with trepidation at the thought of Wes returning home, frustrated to the eyeballs, heavy with the weight of failed ventures. I just hope he doesn’t take it out on me, the children and the house employees… as is his wont. Sometimes I feel I need a chemical crutch to deal with the anxiety and trepidation that burgeons with each passing day. He is of course excited to come home but we (the kids and I) are not exactly brimming with anticipation and certainly NOT doing cartwheels!
Life is so much more peaceful when he is not around, we don’t have to tread on eggshells in fear of triggering one of his harsh/aggressive abusive episodes. It may be just verbal abuse these days but it is still terribly hurtful and traumatising. الله المستعان May Allah SWT Help us all in this house, may Allah SWT make Wes an easygoing husband and father when he comes home.
I have come to a point where I feel I am too old to keep being bullied and manipulated… resented for something I do to HELP. How unfair it is for me, to be resented for doing something to help. He wants the ‘financial assistance’ but resents me for forking out (siapa lagi nak bagi?!) because it makes him feel ‘small’. Aaaaaand we ALLLLLL know how terrible he becomes when he is made to feel humiliated / shamed / embarrassed. He will lash out at all of us like a wounded lion and doesn’t care how much he hurts us in the process.
😣😔😢 الله المستعان
The way I see it, he should practise muhasabah on himself first to pinpoint exactly what he is doing wrong… what is it that he can improve, so that Allah SWT will open ALL paths of rizq to him and remove all blocks and obstacles that stand in the way. Ini tidak, he busies himself on judging everyone right, left and centre (Terpaling Su’udzon™️ macam cheebs!) and NEVER has the self-awareness to see what is wrong with himself. This is also another problem of being a classic narcissist. He is NEVER wrong. *deep sigh*
* Please refer to the ‘Cast & Crew‘ page, on the top right of this blog – a glossary of all the people who are mentioned in this blog
Today is the 8th anniversary of Allahyarham Brix’s return to Rahmatullah, when he CHOSE to return to Rahmatullah by his own hand. I was at Dad’s but I didn’t mention it, not wanting to remind anyone about it.
It’s been 8 years and although we have learned to move on from the crippling grief of the early years, the pain will always be raw for me… whenever I remember 5th March 2015. It will remain my biggest pain until the day I myself return to Rahmatullah.
I miss you so much, Brix… the Robin to my Batgirl. May we meet again in a place more beautiful than this dunya. Aameen.
