Today I went to see Ginnie, my shrink. It has been a while since I last saw her, I almost forgot where her office was. I was already doing pretty OK at my last appointment with her but… with all the shite that happened in December 2022, I felt I needed to see her.
I have to say (and she agrees) the Lumree who first met her in 2021 is not the same Lumree now in 2023. That Lumree was very upset her husband was going to leave her and live separately from her overseas. The Lumree today actually prefers her husband to work overseas. (The children and the house help at least do not have to tread on eggshells and live in constant fear of triggering a violent/abusive tirade.)
The Lumree from 2 years ago didn’t want to be left alone, even though being together meant taking all his verbal abuse, his gaslighting and manipulation and having to pander to all the demands and whims of a supreme dyed-in-the-wool narcissist. The Lumree today just wants peace. If he mentions again about leaving whenever things don’t go his way, I told Ginnie today that I will tell him to walk the talk. I will tell him, don’t hang that sword of Damocles over my head each time he doesn’t get what he wants from me (usually money or favours for his Harambe friends *rolls eyes*)… I will make it easy for him. Let’s both walk in to that qadhi’s office at the Syari’ah court and he can lafaz what he needs to just to make what he has been mentioning repeatedly (ad nauseam!) actually happen 🤷🏻♀️
I told Ginnie just now, the way I see it… he is not happy with me. Why else would he keeeeep mentioning leaving me and ending things each time things don’t go his way? Is it merely a narcissist’s tool of manipulation ? Aku letih, tau tak? As I said, I just want peace. He says that too, as if I disturb his peace. Maybe lah, that’s how he views me, his wife.. as someone who disturbs his peace 😔
Apa² lah laboo… when you blocked me on Whatsapp and I emailed you to say, if you don’t want me anymore… then let’s part in goodness, as Commanded by Allah SWT in the Holy Qur’an. Immediately you unblocked me and started carrying on as if you never blocked me and nothing ever happened pulaaaaak. Apakepoonders, I ask you ⁉️
Just like when you told me to COMMIT SUICIDE. When I mentioned it to you the next day, you said “When did I say that to you?” Apakejoobs lah yaaa❗️ 😡 I told Ginnie, what a thing to say to someone you KNOW suffers from bipolar disorder (BPD), someone with a mental health challenge. Wot a bleddy insensitive thing to do, purposely calculated to HURT me the MOST. Bleddy small dick energy (SDE), padahal kau kena bayar pole tax, kot 🤐
In other news, there are developments to the “war” brewing between Wes and his brother AH (stands for asshole actually but let’s give him a name… Andreas Horatio Coen, AH Coen 😆) I have to say assholery seems to run in the family, in different degrees… of course. I am glad to report that my Wes Alasdair is not the champion in the assholery stakes, his elder brother Andreas Horatio (the ultimate AH!) wins it hands down.
Wes called me today to warn me to NOT accept any calls from AH nor be in contact with his wife, Sheila, anymore. Such a pity because I really like Sheila and we get along very well. Apparently AH is hellbent on breaking Wes’ and my marriage up. AH is even planning to call my Dad to tell him that Wes has been living off my money all this while. Errmm.. sudah terang lagi bersuluh lampu stadium Barnabéu kot, that ain’t news to my Dad. Wot does AH expect Dad will do? Even if Dad gets angry over this piece of so-called “news”… am I bleddy 15 that my Dad can TELL me to break up with my “boyfriend”?
Whatever it is, like it or not, Wes is my husband. Where this marriage is going is nobody’s domain except for Wes’ and mine. Period. Aku ingat aku yang gila (aku kan jenis gila yang kena makan ubat, nyaah 😅), rupanya abang ipar aku AH ni lagi GILER 🙄