Isolation

This self-quarantine is wearing a bit thin.

These are the last 10 nights of Ramadhan 1444H, I don’t really have the time to post, even though I am in isolation in a different from the Covid patient, Wes.

Tonight is the night of the 28th of Ramadhan 1444H.

Wes’ Home Surveillance Order will end on Thursday, 20th April 2023. He’s already planning to go chipping and putting.

I need to go check the apartment vacated by that useless tenant who always paid rent late. I need to return him his deposit.

Dad was discharged from the hospital today. I hope he won’t get “funny” ideas like he did on the day he fell whilst bathing. نعوذ بالله من ذلك

Zimmer

Dad is still in the hospital. Auntie V just sent me a video of him walking using the Zimmer frame in his hospital room, guided by his physiotherapist.

I could also see Pak Lang in the video, Dad’s younger brother who is 7 years younger than he is. So kind of him to come visit despite all his own medical challenges.

Today is Day 2 of my Covid self-quarantine. I tested negative again today but will have to still check tomorrow if I am still negative. Experience has shown me that the danged thing might only pop up on the test kit 4 days after the initial exposure. So we wait, test and wait.

I am bunking with Joe in his room, which is at the opposite end of the corridor from the room I share with Wes. I think he rather enjoys having his Mum around …😁

Patah

Dad fell down in the bathroom whilst showering to get ready for Jummu’ah prayers today and broke his hip. Subhanallah! He is now in Alty Hospital where his orthopaedic surgeon (the one who did both his knee replacements) has his practice. Dato’ Dr Badrul Shah Badaruddin used to practise out of Prince Court Hospital but has since relocated to his own practice at Alty on Jalan Ampang (right next to The Linc, where the first DeWan 1958 is situated).

pic courtesy of medlineplus.gov

Dad cannot have surgery right away because he is on Cardipirin, a blood thinning medication and Dato’ Dr Bad says they have to wait for its effects to wear off first. On top of that the replacement ball joint he wants to “install” in my father is not available in stock and they have had to place an order. Boleh?!

So the upshot is, Dad has to wait till Monday to have surgery to repair his broken hip. It broke at the ball joint between the femur and the pelvic bone, so that’s the part that has to be replaced. Poor Daddy, he now has to be on oral AND intravenous painkillers because he has to wait things out till Monday. He told me that it was very painful when he first fell.

Masalahnya, why did he go and bathe in the downstairs bathroom of his house? He has a bathroom on the same level as his bedroom upstairs but he chose to go down to bathe. On top of all that, he had LOCKED THE DOOR of the bedroom of the en suite bathroom that he took his bath in. When he fell, thankfully the helper was downstairs also, so she heard him call out.. saying that he had fallen. Subhanallah…. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Alhamdulillah she always has the spare key of that bedroom with her and she was able to open the door and “rescue” Dad.

pic courtesy of medlineplus.gov

At first, he didn’t want the helper to tell Auntie V, but the pain got so unbearable that he finally acquiesced. By then, he couldn’t move at all… so Auntie V had to call an ambulance for him. We all know why he went down and locked the door. Dia nak pergi tengok duit dia. استغفر الله العظيم 🤦🏻‍♀️

On top of all that, when Auntie V wanted to change the tiles to the non-slip tiles, he forbade her because he didn’t want to be bothered with the sound of hacking. Haaa.. sekarang dah mendapat. سبحا ن الله At the very least, they could have placed those rubber non-slip pads/tiles on top of the floor… but of course I think that got the veto also from Dad. Then again, I think Auntie V should have been more proactive. When Dad moved upstairs, she should just have gone ahead and changed the tiles in the downstairs AND upstairs bathrooms. Nak save RM10k, say, now have to fork out prolly RM40k for the surgery and hospital fees.

It looks like another Raya at the hospital for us this year. The last one was 9 years ago, when Allahyarhamha Mum was in the ICU 😔 She made it to the next Raya, returning to Rahmatullah on 11th Shawal 1436.

اللهم اغفرلها وارحمها وعافها واعف عنها

May Allah SWT Grant ease and complete shifa’ to Dad. Aameen. 🤲🏻

Sanah Helwa Joe!

Today is my Joe’s 21st birthday. The sad thing is, being autistic and non-verbal he doesn’t understand the concept of birthdays. So every year, we just make him his favourite food and have a bit of a knees-up at home only. I can’t even buy him proper birthday cakes because technically, he cannot have anything dairy. Not much fun, but it is what it is… 😔

Joe used to love Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron as a child, he would watch it ad nauseam 😅

I am a mother and I am human. قدرالله وما شاء فعل . I absolutely accept Allah’s decree for him and for us his family, who have to raise a special needs child… now a full-blown adult. الحمدلله على كل حال

However, I am human too… and there will always be a small part of me who grieves for the Joe he will never be. If he were neurotypical… at 21, he would be at university, just like his elder and younger brother. He’d already have learned how to drive and would be out and about with his friends. He prolly would have a girl interested in him… because he is so handsome and such a sweet boy. My heart bleeds 😔 but I know Allah SWT is saving the best for my son Joe, on the other side.

For all the sacrifices and things he has had to forgo in this dunya, because he is the way he is, I have absolute faith that Allah SWT is Reserving things that are waaaay better for him on the other side. May Jannah be yours, my sweet, affectionate Joe.

Dad was telling me the other day, how lonely he feels… because all his children are grown and have their own families… and he only gets to see us occasionally and not see us every day in his own home. He said “But Lumree, you will always have a “child” with you“. He’s right, Joe will always be the “child” with us. Silver linings and all that… Alhamdulillah.

I love you to pieces, Joe. May Allah SWT Always Bless and Protect you, keep you safe and Provide for you long after Mummy and Daddy are gone. Aaameen!

Don’t Push Me To My Gila

I really abhor it when people take advantage of me. This morning, my cousin Yuni (I think I mentioned her a few posts back), texted me asking me whether her meeting with my Dad, Ayah Alang and Mak Chu was still on at 11:00a.m.

Errr.. hel-lo. You have your uncles’ numbers, their respective wives’ numbers… why can’t you message or call them yourself and ask? Why do you have to ask ME? I am not a party to the meeting and the proceedings. I had already gone enough out of my way to fill the forms for them, printed the forms out and personally deliver the forms to each and every one of them. Tak cukup lagi ke?

It wasn’t MY responsibility… it’s hers. She needed a job done but she just left everything on her elderly uncles and aunt. I stepped in because I knew they would require help. Apa punya perangailah Kak Yuni ni… Dah 64 pung still cannot use her head wisely and think what behaviour would be appropriate when dealing with your elderly uncles and aunt. On top of that, treating me as if I was her personal assistant/secretary. Banyaaaaak cantik! 😡 Daripada orang ikhlas nak tolong, trusss jadi tak ikhlas. Berpada²lah… bila orang dah sanggup nak tolong tu, janganlah kau LENJAN macam aku ni khadam kau pulak!

So penyudahnya, I BLOCKED her everywhere ~ Waksep, phone and segala bagai messaging apps. Gudlak lah nak use me again! 😡

Wes has been out with his friends who are visiting KayHell from the soni dharti since this morning. He has to play tourist guide to them. I hope the inveterate narcissist in him is not spending tonnes of money he can ill afford just to impress these people. Tomorrow, what was supposed to be just an iftar with Ustadh Shafiq, has expanded to be a whole shebang with 8 people (including him). He had chosen to break fast at Bedouin, an Arab restaurant near our house here, that charges RM85++ per head.

*shakes my head*

This is a man who doesn’t even give RM50 to his sons, even symbolically, for allowance/spending money… but he can spend that much on strangers. I am not going to lie and say I don’t resent it. This is a man who takes all of us for granted. I feel bad for my boys.RM85++ per head times 8, comes up to RM 788.80. Memang susah nak ikhlas. He knows what kind of difficult situation I find myself in right now, my investments stuck on all fronts with absolutely NO INCOME coming in.

I am supporting the entire family on my savings now… and look what he does. The money that I set aside for his spending whilst he is back here, he is spending on all this. Doesn’t he feel that he should at least be economical and streeeeeetch it for as much as he can? His narcissism and wanting to “look good” in the eyes of others doesn’t allow for it, I am sad to report.

He paid for an expensive 5-star hotel for these friends when they arrived late last night. Then when I said, why should you spend so much… you can get a hotel just as good up the road for much cheaper. He got tetchy and upset. Told me that if he runs out of money he will just ask me for more (in a joking manner… but we ALL know many a true thing is said in jest, kan?) I am sorry to report those days are long gone.. I can’t be his safety net carte blanche anymore.

Sebab tu aku kata, banyak betulnya apa yang abang dia AH tu cakap pasal dia. Wes tells his sister that he will DIE first before dishonour. So asking your wife for money is an “honourable” act, is it?

Carik Chan

I don’t like to write in this blog when Wes is around. This evening he has an iftar do at our religious class centre (let’s call the place AK). He left around 630pm just now and I am now taking the chance to dash off a quick entry whilst I can.

I baked a fudge-y brownie for Ustadh Shafiq this morning before my AI Capital Zoom Meet. Wes wanted to give Ustadh an “iftar pack” (tahapa² entah dalam kepala dia ~ “iftar pack”) when he meets Ustadh Shafiq at the do at AK this evening. I didn’t understand him at first, thinking why would he want to give Ustadh an “iftar pack” if they are already going to have iftar at the centre? Rupanya he wanted to give a Ramadhan gift pack…

Ramadhan dah nak habis dah mana nak cari Ramadhan gift packs lagi ni.. so I just said I’d bake Ustadh and his children the brownies that I usually bake for them. So itulah ceritanya… then whilst I was making the brownies this morning, Wes came down to the kitchen and said he would like to taste a piece. Hadoiii… if I give him a piece, rosaklah the whole look of the entire tray of brownies that I want to give to Ustadh S! SO now…after my taraweeh in a while, I am going to go down to whip up another batch of fudge-y brownies. (I even bought some vanilla ice-cream just now, just for the ‘occasion’! 😆)

Dato’ Seri Michael MyAss Liew 🐽 Penipu Scammer Cheebuy

Had to meet our lawyer, Richard (Rick), at Dad’s this afternoon. Rick had also requested to meet up with Zane. It was a fruitful meeting I think, because at least Dad and Zane were put up to speed with the latest developments in the progress of our legal action against Rainmaker, Asia Cornerstone, Crest Advisory and ACE.

Rick did say that the case against Rainmaker et al is proving to be difficult because we need to pin the case on the owner of all these disparate companies. The cross-holdings and convoluted network of companies and the structure within which each operates make it very difficult to pin things down on that bagero Michael Marcus Liew. Rick was saying we have to start to think “out of the box”, may have to bend a few (minor) rules to get to where we want.

!الله المستعان

Auntie V told me that she will be going to Londres after Eid with Maya, her “princess”. They were supposed to go back to the “kampung” but since tak jadi, they are STILL going to go travel. Kata duit tak ada, but still travelling halfway across the world, with airline tickets costing the way they do these days. Mengarut betul. No wonder Dad is loathe to give this woman any money. I think money is like a glowing coal that burns a hole in her pocket… she just HAS to ‘get rid’ of it, no matter what. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Habis duit esok-esok… don’t look at me 🫤🤷🏻‍♀️

Mendadih

Wes has gone to Pasar Pasir Penambang to get our stock of fresh fish and seafood for the rest of the month of Ramadhan 1444H. I decided not to follow because of my back problem. It’s just gotten better, Alhamdulillah, and I do not want to aggravate it by having to sit 2 hours in a car going to and fro KL – Kuala Selangor.

Once I get my prawns, I will want to make the ‘instant’ chee cheong fun (using Vietnamese rice paper for the skin) that went viral all over TikTok and elsewhere several months back. Must make the chilli crisp with dried shrimp as well for total authenticity.

Made dadih (milk pudding) with the help of #FrauThermaSechs 2 days ago.

The Milo one was so tasty, even the plain one tasted good.

I don’t know if I’ll ever make them again though. Rather sweet… although I could reduce the condensed milk in the recipe.

Bought these cute 120ml glass jars from a Thermomix advisor who had an extra set. Love them. Next project should be my own homemade yoghurt, انشاءالله 💃🏻

Biawak Idup

Two of Wes‘ friends/colleagues from his office overseas are visiting KL. They came down from a conference in Bangkok and want to spend a few days in KL and then go to Langkawi. My whole afternoon was wasted just tending to the narcissist’s need to please others.

Kawan dia yang datang, aku pulak yang tak pepasal terpaksa bersusah-payah nak kena find out itu ini, book itu ini. (Update: And bila deyols dah sampai, boleh pulak macam cast aspersions kata dia dapat 5-star hotel which is far cheaper than the one we booked. Ada bezalah woii.. and in the first place, I don’t think the R*yale Chul*n Damansara is of 5-star standard but wotever… 🤷🏻‍♀️ *shrug*)

Wes insisted on paying for their 5-star hotel stay, the one near our house. Dia ingat murah² kot, but didn’t realise the cheap prices he saw on Book*ng.c*m did not include breakfast, and breakfast is rather expensive as compared to at the Royale Chulan. Masalah dengan dia ni, banyak assume sana-sini. Amendaaalah. On top of all that, he didn’t realise that the prices quoted on the booking site are all “++”, which means 10% service charge and 6% sales tax is not included in the price. Bila dah dicongak² balik baru terlopong 😲

He had spoken to Ustadh Shafiq earlier in the day and he invited Ustadh sometime next week, before the last 10 nights of Ramadhan starts. Ustadh graciously accepted his invitation, Alhamdulillah. Later in the evening, when I asked Wes whether I should make a reservation for TWO at the restaurant he had chosen for him and Ustadh, he told me… no, wait first… coz the list has now expanded… to EIGHT.

Now it was my turn to terlopong 😲… sambil 🤦🏻‍♀️ *facepalm*. Aku nak pergi supermarket and buy the (expensive) groceries that he eats pun aku terpaksa berkira each RM100, and he nicely invites so many people to an iftar that he can ill-afford. (Buffet price RM100 per person at the restaurant he chose). In the first place, can they even eat to justify the cost of the buffet… no one can eat much by this point of Ramadhan, our stomachs have shrunk so much. (Alhamdulillah for that lah kan…) Si Harambae Opportunist yang aku menyampah tu pun diajaknya. 😤

Bersepah biawak idup dalam dunia ni…

Maaflah, daripada ikhlas jadi tak ikhlas… sebab dah menjadi beban. Wes Alasdair Coen CONSTANTLY and PERPETUALLY pushes me into this ‘zone’/situation and I am sick and tired of it. Dia tak rasalah bebannya, coz… he doesn’t pay a single sen for the expenditure of anything in this family. I am the one carrying everything. He even mentioned when I said why should you spend so much on the two friends coming to KL when we are going through hard times now, “Never mind lah, if I finish my money, I just ask you”. He said that with his usual snigger, but I know he wasn’t joking. Living with him for 30+ years has taught me that he doesn’t joke about these things.

Kata “honourable” sangat.. #DeathBeforeDishonour bagai… but asik mendesak duit daripada bini tu “honourable” sangat ke? Hamboiiii sedapnya. Aku ni mint money ke? Those days are long gone ya, pakcik… tapi kalau aku sebut kau pulak tak suka and will start to show me muka masam and treat me with your legendary manipulative cold silences.

I am T-I-R-E-D. Sometimes I wonder why am I still here *deep sigh*

Mi Mancherai, Mummy

Today is one of those days when I feel like running to my mother’s grave and hugging her batu nisan and sob my heart out. I am feeling very down dooby doo down down today… and I miss my mother SOOOOOOO MUCH.

I didn’t think my life would change as it did when she returned to Rahmatullah. My whole word turned upside down, topsy turvy… I was left to deal with a father who would CONDEMN me, just for protecting Allahyarhamha Mummy’s interest. After 51 years of being married to her, the long-suffering and patient wife who never ever stood up against him… he can’t even bring himself to honour her memory and legacy in the way that she deserves to be honoured.

Ma, I wish I could turn back time and I would never have left your side for even a second. I would have bled myself dry just to make you happy. I would have spent those last moments before you breathed your last begging your forgiveness and telling you how much I love you and what a wonderful mother you were to me. You were the bestest ever. So many people I met, even after your return to Rahmatullah…. they would tell me how wonderful you were. To know you was to love you, Ma… May Allah SWT Grant you the Highest Jannah. May the barzakh be a peaceful and cool abode for you.

I miss you. I love you.

Resignation

Yesterday I finally finished all the monthly reports for our family’s charitable fund, that goes by the acronym TPKHAS. I gatal² pi volunteer to be the Treasurer at its inception… now padankan dengan muka aku. 😅 Bak kata Mr Os terlajak overbite, “tak ada keghoje cari keghoje” 😂

My aunt (Dad’s youngest sister), Olivia, is the chairperson for said fund. She refers to me as “Puan Bendahari” when referring to me in my capacity as the fund’s Treasurer 😆 Wot a bleddy thankless job.. not that I am hard-up for the family members’ gratitude but show some appreciation lah for our efforts in wanting to keep the family united and closer through this fund and its charitable contributions.

As my cousin, one of the regular contributors to the fund said to me, “No one really cares.” He is absolutely RIGHT. No one in the entire family gives a shite, really. Here I was, being stressed because I haven’t finished the monthly reports since December 2021 but no one cares whether I put them up or not. In the family Waksep group yesterday, I told everyone I am resigning from the job because I cannot deal with the extra stress (on top of my worrying about my capital that bleddy Rainmaker and ACE are not returning to me yet!) I cited my anxiety and mental health issues, no one even bothered to write to me and make appropriate noises wishing me well or whatnot… absolutely nothing, except for my cousin Zack here (Zack is Aunt Olivia’s eldest son).

Wes is off to KLIA to pick up our spiritual guru and Ustadh, Dato’ SHY. He had sent Dato’ SHY off to the airport last Thursday night, because he had told Dato’ SHY that he is free for whatever “khidmat” he can perform for him. So he as asked by SHY to drive him to his medical appointment in town last Tuesday and then to the airport on Thursday night for him to catch his 2am flight to DBX. Today SHY returns to KayHell and lagi sekali abam volunteered lah kan… to pick him up. 😏

Mungkin ini pun masuk category “tak ada keghoje cari keghoje” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yesterday Crest and The Rainmaker emailed me their settlement proposal… which is totally unacceptable to me. Can you imagine they just want to pay back 20% of my investment capital in cash and the remaining 80% in “transfer of shares in public listed companies”. Poonders lah… If it were 80% cash and 20% in shares, I might consider. And the shares… which companies? Kalau Maybank ke, Public Bank ke, Hong Leong ke.. OK lah. Sekali kau bagi shares in some company that makes dedak ayam but happens to be floated on the KLSE. Company yang retak menunggu PN4. Puuuiiiii….

Melampau betei.. I hope our lawyers can negotiate a better deal for us. InshaaAllah… Aameen! 🤲🏻