Today is my Joe’s 21st birthday. The sad thing is, being autistic and non-verbal he doesn’t understand the concept of birthdays. So every year, we just make him his favourite food and have a bit of a knees-up at home only. I can’t even buy him proper birthday cakes because technically, he cannot have anything dairy. Not much fun, but it is what it is… 😔
I am a mother and I am human. قدرالله وما شاء فعل . I absolutely accept Allah’s decree for him and for us his family, who have to raise a special needs child… now a full-blown adult. الحمدلله على كل حال
However, I am human too… and there will always be a small part of me who grieves for the Joe he will never be. If he were neurotypical… at 21, he would be at university, just like his elder and younger brother. He’d already have learned how to drive and would be out and about with his friends. He prolly would have a girl interested in him… because he is so handsome and such a sweet boy. My heart bleeds 😔 but I know Allah SWT is saving the best for my son Joe, on the other side.
For all the sacrifices and things he has had to forgo in this dunya, because he is the way he is, I have absolute faith that Allah SWT is Reserving things that are waaaay better for him on the other side. May Jannah be yours, my sweet, affectionate Joe.
Dad was telling me the other day, how lonely he feels… because all his children are grown and have their own families… and he only gets to see us occasionally and not see us every day in his own home. He said “But Lumree, you will always have a “child” with you“. He’s right, Joe will always be the “child” with us. Silver linings and all that… Alhamdulillah.
I love you to pieces, Joe. May Allah SWT Always Bless and Protect you, keep you safe and Provide for you long after Mummy and Daddy are gone. Aaameen!
