All names of all individuals mentioned in this #BlogMahaSendu are not their real names and are sorted by alphabetical order for ease of reference. (This Glossary page will be updated from time-to-time)
ALEX
My youngest son who aspires to be The Spy Who Loved Me, Part Deux. (Part Un was my Dad, obviously ๐ )
ANDREAS HORATIO COEN (AH)
My complete ARSEHOLE of a brother-in-law, the prize cvnt of all prize cvnts. Older than Wes and has been jealous of Wes since time immemorial. Has the looks of an ageing and grey flappy labia and the characteristics and bitchy mouth of a frustrated pondan tua.
AWIN
A new friend introduced to me by TC, whom I feel very comfortable with.
AZIEL
My youngest brother from another mother, (Maya’s younger brother)
BRIX
Allahyarham my brother who returned to Rahmatullah several years ago. He was a diagnosed schizophrenic who took his own life.
DAD
Well… Dad.
DAGHAI KELABU
My arsehole brother-in-law. See “Andreas Horatio Coen” entry above.
DEXTER
My former genetic engineer baby bro (from the same mother) who lives in Ol’ Blighty. Dad to the only nephews I have.
ECAH
KK member whom I like the most, someone on the same wavelength as I am and a fellow โ๏ธ
EDIN
Awin’s very adorable toddler with the most cherubic smile ๐
GIA
My lovely sister-in-law (SIL), Zane’s wife
JOE
My middle son with autism. He is non-verbal but is very sensitive to what goes on around him and understands instructions even though he cannot respond verbally.
JULIE
KK member, hawt Mum of 3 grown children and my yoga instructor. A gorgeous pocket rocket and a sensible chica whom I like very much
KETUPAT KREW (KK)
A circle of 5 friends (including yours truly) who have known each other since 2006, from our blogging days. We bonded over menganyam ketupat activities (hence the group name) ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ. A group that I now feel the need to distance myself from, for some reason or another.
LEONA
“Titfemes” KK member, closest friend of TC in the group. I suspect these two have a separate group that mengata all of us other TKK members behind our backs… but that’s just how the chismes cookie crumbles, right?
MAYA
My only sister, her mother’s protรฉgรฉ who hates me through no fault of my own. The reason can be found in my posts, if one cares to read.
NICK MORDECAI COEN (NICK)
My brother-in-law (BIL), Wes’ youngest brother. The person who has always been there for me when I went through very hard times in my marriage to his elder brother. We used to go everywhere together in Londres (because his brother would just disappear with his degenerate friends and leave me, his wife, alone) that at one time people thought he was my husband ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
ROXANNE (ROX)
My sister-in-law, Dexter’s wife. Rox used to read my blog back in the day when I was a Joyful Janda ๐ (before she knew my bro!), so she knows a few of my wildchild shenanigans. Prolly why she says I am her fave SIL ๐ #AlwaysTheFunOne #NeverTheDullOne
SASCHA
My eldest son, touched by the ADD brush and the sweetest boy who loves to read the dictionary
(USTADH) SHAFIQ
An Ustadh whose tazkirah I absolutely love and adore listening to. The most wonderful and upstanding human being that I have ever met in my life. I have met many, including international scholars… but Ustadh Shafiq stands head and shoulders above ALL of them, IMHO. He preaches the Qur’an and Sunnah without compromise. ุฃุญุจู ูู ุงููู.
SHARON COEN (SHARON)
My sister-in-law, Wes’ elder sister. I love her to bits, she’s a fellow โ๏ธ and we feel each other a lot.
SHEILA
AH’s wife, my biras/jethani-jee (elder sister-in-law). Someone I useD to love and respect but have recently found out to be an absolute snake ๐
TABZ
My dewrani-jee (younger sister-in-law), Nick’s wife
TENGKU CHOMBI (TC)
KK member (I would actually call her the ringleader), the Kertu Chismosa, La Reina of all Acik Bawangs and Kak Nams ever to walk God’s Green Earth whose raison d’รชtre seems to be gossip and mengata orang. She is also a self-confessed talam bermukaยฒ, she even coined the phrase “T a l a m Corp” (an actual company in this country) to refer to herself. Seswai… TC juga.
#IfSheHasMengataSomeoneToYouSheCertainlyHasMengataYouToSomeoneElse
(AUNTIE) VIVY (V)
My Dad’s extremely boros Chanel-loving second wife, my stepmum who is a lot like Taylor Swift, i.e. a ๐ (the physical polar opposite though of Ms. Swift coz she’s rendang as Ahkak Pink, the erstwhile FLOM)
WES ALASDAIR COEN (WES)
The person who has broken my heart and spirit to smithereens more than once, whose face appears next to mine on a Kad Nikah issued by JAWI
ZANE
My second brother who never needs to worry if he ate publicly during fasting hours in Ramadhan, no JAKIM/JAWI/JAIS will apprehend him because he doesn’t look like one who needs to fast ๐ (Not that he does that!)